Les meilleurs monologues: Captain Koons (Pulp Fiction, 1994)

L’une des meilleures scènes de Pulp Fiction est celle où l’on relate l’importance de la montre que Butch (Bruce Willis) tente de retrouver. On y voit en flashback Christopher Walken en militaire s’adresser à un jeune Butch. Il lui explique que cette montre a passé plusieurs années dans le pire des endroits avant de lui donner en cadeau.

 

"…The way your dad looked at it, this watch was your birthright.

He’d be damned if any slopes gonna put

their greasy yellow hands on his boy’s birthright,

 

so he hid it,

in the one place he knew he could hide something:

 

His ass.

 

Five long years, he wore this watch up his ass.

 

Then when he died of dysentery, he gave me the watch.

I hid this uncomfortable piece of metal up my ass for two years.

 

Then, after seven years, I was sent home to my family.

 

And now, little man,

I give the watch to you…"

 

 

Les meilleurs monologues: Braveheart (1995)

En revoyant Braveheart en Blu-Ray, ce très grand succès des années 90 qui malheureusement ne vieillit pas si bien que çà, je me suis aperçu que malgré que Mel Gibson porte une horrible perruque, qu’il en met un peu trop, parle avec un accent écossais chancelant, il reste néanmoins convainquant dans son rôle de William Wallace. Pendant la scène où il encourage ses troupes à Stirling (sur la stupéfiante musique de James Horner), il m’inspire presqu’à enlever mon pantalon, enfiler un kilt, me peindre la face en bleu et empaler le premier officier Anglais venu.

 

 

"…Aye, fight and you may die. Run, and you’ll live…

at least a while….

And dying in your beds, many years from now,

 would you be willin’ to trade ALL the days, from this day to that,

for one chance, just one chance,

to come back here and tell our enemies

that they may take our lives, but they’ll never take…

 

OUR FREEDOM!! "

 

 

Les meilleurs monologues: The Usual Suspects (1995)

 

Pendant son interrogatoire avec le détective Kujan (Chazz Palmintari), le criminel de bas-niveau Verbal Kint (Kevin Spacey) raconte les origines de Keyser Soze, un mystérieux gangster notoire d’une cruauté sans fin. Tout ce bout de dialogue renforce le mythe autour de cet énigmatique personnage (…et on n’apprendra qu’à la fin la stupéfiante vérité).

 

"…Who is Keyser Soze?

 

He is supposed to be Turkish. Some say his father was German.

Nobody believed he was real.

Nobody ever saw him or knew anybody that ever worked directly for him,

but to hear Kobayashi tell it, anybody could have worked for Soze.

 

You never knew.

That was his power.

 

The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn’t exist.

 

And like that, poof. He’s gone…"

 

Les meilleurs monologues: Gladiator (2000)

 

 Maximus (Russel Crowe) vient tout juste de remporter une bataille supposée être perdue d’avance dans l’Arène. L’Empereur Commodus, ayant tué sa famille et le croyant mort s’approche de lui entouré de ses gardes, lui demande d’enlever son casque et de dévoiler son nom. Maximus se retourne et retire son casque:

 

"My name is Maximus Decimus Meridius

 

 commander of the Armies of the North,

General of the Felix Legions,

loyal servant to the true emperor, Marcus Aurelius.

 

Father to a murdered son, husband to a murdered wife.

 

And I will have my vengeance, in this life or the next." 

 

 

 

Les meilleurs monologues: Full Metal jacket (1987)

 

Je ne crois pas qu’il y ait eu un sergent plus drôle que Hartman dans Full Metal Jacket de Kubrick.

 

 

"…If you ladies leave my island, if you survive recruit training, you will be a weapon.

 You will be a minister of death praying for war.

 

But until that day you are pukes.

You are the lowest form of life on Earth.

You are not even human, fucking beings.

You are nothing but unorganized grabastic pieces of amphibian shit.

Because I am hard you will not like me.

But the more you hate me the more you will learn.

I am hard but I am fair.

There is no racial bigotry here.

I do not look down on niggers, kikes, wops or greasers.

 

Here you are all equally worthless…"

 

 

Les meilleures monologues: Ratatouille (2007)

 

   Dans une scène savoureuse, la critique culinaire Antom Ego goutte la Ratatouille et écrit par la suite la critique suivante, lu en narration chaleureusement par Peter O’Toole. Ceci se veut aussi une critique envers les critiques,  et c’est frappant de vérité en lisant entre les lignes.

 

 "In many ways, the work of a critic is easy.

We risk very little yet enjoy a position over those who offer up their work and their selves to our judgment.

We thrive on negative criticism, which is fun to write and to read.

But the bitter truth we critics must face, is that in the grand scheme of things,

the average piece of junk is more meaningful than our criticism designating it so.

 

 But there are times when a critic truly risks something, and that is in the discovery and defense of the new.

The world is often unkind to new talent, new creations, the new needs friends.

Last night, I experienced something new, an extraordinary meal from a singularly unexpected source.

To say that both the meal and its maker have challenged my preconceptions about fine cooking is a gross understatement.

 

They have rocked me to my core.

In the past, I have made no secret of my disdain for Chef Gusteau’s famous motto: Anyone can cook.

But I realize, only now do I truly understand what he meant.

Not everyone can become a great artist, but a great artist can come from anywhere.

It is difficult to imagine more humble origins than those of the genius now cooking at Gusteau’s,

 who is, in this critic’s opinion, nothing less than the finest chef in France.

 

I will be returning to Gusteau’s soon, hungry for more. "

Les meilleurs monologues: Schinder’s List (1994)

 

  Amon Goeth (Ralph Fiennes) est un dirigeant nazi d’un camp de concentration qui prend plaisir à sniper les juifs du haut de son balcon le matin. Il tue les gens pour n’importe quelles raisons et se sent puissant. Oskar Schindler, sympatisant nazi,  tente d’épargner sa force ouvrière qui est detenue dans ce camp en suggérant à Amon ce qu’est vraiment la définition du pouvoir. Ceci amenera Amon à être bon, pendant…hmmm…. 30 minutes le lendemain.

 

 

    "…Power is when we have every justification to kill…

and don’t.

That’s what the Emperor said.

A man steals something, he’s brought in before the Emperor,

he throws himself down on the ground.

He begs for his life, he knows he’s going to die.

 

And the Emperor… pardons him. This worthless man, he lets him go. 

 

That’s power, Amon. That is power…."

  

Les meilleurs monologues: The Matrix (1999)

 

   Je me suis procuré le nouveau coffret HD-DVD de la trilogie de The Matrix (absolument spectaculaire) et été surpris en regardant le premier volet de la qualité de certains dialogues songés, en particulier ce passage où l’artificiel Agent Smith (Hugo Weaving) raconte à Morpheus (Lawrence Fishburne) sa vision de l’être humain:

 

"…I’d like to share a revelation that I’ve had during my time here.

It came to me when I tried to classify your species and I realized that you’re not actually mammals.

Every mammal on this planet instinctively develops a natural equilibrium

with the surrounding environment but you humans do not.

You move to an area and you multiply and multiply until every natural resource is consumed

 and the only way you can survive is to spread to another area.

 

There is another organism on this planet that follows the same pattern.

Do you know what it is?

 

A virus.

 

Human beings are a disease, a cancer of this planet.

You’re a plague and we are the cure… "

Les meilleurs monologues: V For Vendetta (2006)

 

    Dans cet excellent film, V (Hugo Weaving) se présente avec virtuosité à Evey (Natalie Portman) avec ce fascinant monologue, une rafale de mots en V.

 

"…Voilà!
In view, a humble vaudevillian veteran,
cast vicariously as both victim and villain by the vicissitudes of Fate.
This visage, no mere veneer of vanity, is a vestige of the vox populi, now vacant, vanished.
However, this valorous visitation of a by-gone vexation,
stands vivified and has vowed to vanquish these venal and virulent vermin van-guarding vice
and vouchsafing the violently vicious and voracious violation of volition.

The only verdict is vengeance;
 
A vendetta, held as a votive, not in vain,
for the value and veracity of such shall one day vindicate the vigilant and the virtuous.
Verily, this vichyssoise of verbiage veers most verbose,
So let me simply add that it’s my very good honor to meet you…  

And you may call me V…"